The Life and Times of AirKarina!

There comes a time...

2011-12-27T17:25:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you meet someone who fits your life perfectly. The laughter, the stories, the smiles, the time spent together, a connection so epic it makes your heart beat to a new rhythm. You don't intend on falling but you do. You attempt to go with the flow and just allow things to remain the same, but you simply can't help the human nature of feelings and how easily they can control you. The truth is out now and it becomes a little strange. You continue trying and start to see a little change. The stories get deeper, your connection grows and you find out that you are spoken of to others outside of your circle. You want to do everything to make this person smile but they continuously have their guard up.

You try to understand that they may have had a rough time with love. You lie to yourself and say you can change them. Tell yourself that if you stand by and support them, things will change. You can see how they look at you sometimes and feel the emotion but also see how easily the look changes so they are protected from what may be a painful experience. You still hold true to yourself and make sure they know you are there for them. You are hopeful. You fall deeper. You allow yourself to start the illusions of grandeur. Knowing the person you are and what you can mean to the one that lets you in, you want to be the world for them. You want to show them how they should be treated and the kind of life they deserve.

Yet, you start to realize that the connection you once had, has started to become nothing but a good friendship. You try to reach out as you had become accustomed to and are met with excuses to why you no longer see each other as you used to. The conversations go from passionate to bland. You can see that the feelings are there but you can see the reservations in their eyes. It has become a one sided affair. It is you that has the heart and soul ready to give it all. Yet, you can't give all to someone who is guarded. You can't allow yourself to continue to waste away while your feelings aren't reciprocated.

There comes a time when you must cut your losses and move on. Sometimes that connection will lead to an incredible friendship. That friendship may just mold into a beautiful connection that will be everlasting. A great friendship can be better than a mediocre romance. The statement "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be" has never been truer. Think about it this way, if you can be the person they need to overcome their pain by simply being their friend, what greater gift can you receive but to see their happiness.

Love is never greedy...maybe that's a lesson a lot can stand to learn.

Love or Epidemic?

2011-10-18T06:53:00.000-07:00

It seems there is an epidemic upon us. Love has become so easily attainable and so easily forgotten. Since when did the "honeymoon phase" of a relationship equal a long and everlasting love? It sickens me how easily people forget about each other to be with someone new. Juggling people like toys. Enjoying a person's company is great. That connection you get easily with a new person. The phone conversations, the dates, waking up thinking of that exciting emotion. That is not love. It is liking someone. You cannot foresee a life long connection after a few weeks, even months.

I can definitely understand how great the new feeling is, one person annoys you so someone new grasps your attention, you must keep in mind that your true love annoys you and gets under your skin because they know you. They know every little thing that bothers you. It's why love is so hard to maintain, the person that you allow into your heart fully will always be the one person that can drive you from love to hate in 2.4 seconds. Love can be so ugly, it can be painful, it can drive you insane, but it is such an amazing force that everything else can be forgotten almost immediately.

How can people enjoy going from person to person just to get away from who they really love. Being afraid to be alone is no reason to be with everyone. Life is a balance, if you don't have any bad moments how are you supposed to cherish the good moments? No relationship is perfect. No relationship is free of fights. Any two people that have been together for a very long time will tell you that they are happy but it was blood, sweat and tears to get there. Love is worth all the pain.

Nothing worthwhile is easy. Love is the only shocking act left on this planet. Treat it properly and it will reward you greatly!

Strength

2011-09-28T00:49:00.000-07:00

Strength; Is defined as 'The quality or state of being strong, in particular'

Why is it that when you need strength the most you are turned into a scared child all over again?

What is so unnerving about uncertainty that we remain in a situation knowing it is not what we want? As adults, we are told, we will be smarter but we can never find the strength to do what must be done for our happiness until we have been dredged through the mud countless times. A chance to just breathe, to live, after being torn down again and again by greediness and a complete disregard for my feelings. Am I asking for too much to save my sanity?

Holding on to something to ensure that my son is always happy. Have I forgotten that if I am not happy, he won't be either one day? He needs to see his mother happy and healthy. It is not fair to him that he sees my tears at times. He continuously tells me that he will always be here for me. Asks me to not cry. Asks me if I love him. I have to reassure my 5 year old about my feelings for him because he can sense the pain I am in. I'm not sure what my next move should be. Do I take the road that will lead to pain and confusion for others but set me free? Do I maintain hopeful that I can move on, knowing that my faith grows dimmer by the second.

When did I become an enabler? How did I allow myself to come this far and start losing myself in the process of trying to keep someone else happy? Always snapping at someone, can't sleep, headaches everyday...am I killing myself slowly by allowing this to continue? If I am seeing this now, can I change it? Where is my strength when I need it? I truly do hope it will all work itself out someday...

The time is now for strength and I can find not one ounce of it.

A letter from my heart...

2011-06-12T13:48:00.000-07:00

You can't help but be yourself...

I know all of my faults and accept them all.

I'm aware of my negativity, my brutal honesty, my strong opinions and my sometimes judgmental nature, yet, of one thing I am certain, regardless of my negativity, I am a full blown romantic...

I can't help but want to be around the person who has that connection that makes my heart beat slower and faster with just the thought of them.

I don't agree at all with men who want to tell you things just to get you in bed and then go away. The games you play with people will come back to haunt you.

People come in and out of your life for many reasons...I have a strong belief that your heart knows exactly what it wants no matter the circumstance...

I've been through so much and had my heart toyed with so many times and, yet, I know my true love is out there. I will continue to go through whatever I must in order to reach my happy ending...

I've been sentimental recently because my Father's birthday is coming up and he and my mother showed me what true love really was. 27 years of marriage before his demise. Not one day did I ever see anything but love between them.

I am so certain of my ability to make a man the happiest man on this planet, but I will not settle for a man that does not make my heart beat beside his own...

A man will truly show you he cares no matter how busy he may be. Writing a letter, sending a text, an email, or a short phone call. In this the age of technology there is no valid excuse to ignore the one you're interested in.

It's a painful reality when you connect with someone and see it fail.

Hold true to your feelings, they are valid...we have hearts because they are meant to love others, in many different degrees.

No romantic feeling is invalid but true courage is having the strength to follow your heart even if it leads to pain.

I'm so tired...

2011-06-08T21:44:00.000-07:00

I was told my entire life that I should be honest. That I should never be anyone but myself and never worry about what others think of me. I grew up afraid to be myself because I had been shunned. I finally came into who I really am at the age of 18. I opened my eyes and decided to always live how I so choose and that will make people accept me.

Little did I know this honesty would be my downfall. Time and time again I would meet a guy, let him know how I am and what I expect, only to see him toy with my emotions and disappear. I am so tired of the lack of respect. Just be honest.

I'm so tired of always being nice and being disrespected continually. I hate hearing that I'm "so different" that they had to cheat on me...wtf is that? How can I possibly be this nice and loyal but get treated like dirt because you can't handle it?

No one ever gives a flying fuck about my feelings...Its so easy to label me as a hoe, a bitch, a tramp and any other term used to judge a woman like me, but no one actually sees me for who I am. It's come to the point where it seems I'm going to have to suppress who I am to find one man on this planet that won't hurt me.

How is it that you can fill my head with words and treat me nicely only to disappear when I let you in. Why don't we just stop wasting time and you can be a man and tell me what you really want. I'm a grown woman and I can take it. I hate these games. I'm a good woman.

I know how a man should be treated. I want to do everything for a man. I bend over backwards to make a man happy and I feel like they just spit at my heart and walk away.

So my honesty is an issue? The fact that I want to please a man in every way makes me a bad person? I don't play games. When I am interested I am...thats it...no puzzles, no games, no deciphering female terminology, just pure interest. Yet I am cast aside and ignored for girls who are quiet and, yet, are doing worst things than I am.

Here's the kicker though...this is what truly pisses me off because it ALWAYS happens, I am ignored, cast aside..blah blah blah... THEN; some time passes and they come back with apologies and sweet words. -_____________-

I WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU DID NOTHING!!!!!!!

Now I'm supposed to drop my life and run into your arms because you're back? You realized how easygoing, down to earth and "perfect" I am so you came back? Really?

I'm so over the games people play. Girls play so many games that women like me are misjudged yet wanted all at the same time. I tried to be nice and get labeled as trying to trap you into a relationship...so now I can't even send terms of endearment towards you to brighten your day lest it mean that I want to get married? Jesus, I was just being nice...

I'm cast aside for being sexual but when I'm nice, I am trying to force a relationship..smh...at this point I just don't want Love anymore...I'm tired of trying...tired of saying what I want and never getting it. I will NOT settle for less than I deserve and if it means going my whole life alone then so be it. I won't even worry about sending nice texts to others and showing my nice side. You want some girl to play games with then go ahead and play. I'm the kind of woman you come after when you want a real life.

I'm so tired...

...

2011-04-10T23:35:00.001-07:00

There comes a time when you realize that your effort will not be noticed...
A time when you must face the cruel realization that you don't get everything you want...
What is one to do at that point?

Do you lie to yourself and continue trying?
Do you simply resign yourself to being unhappy?

Or should you just make the choice to be happy even if it means losing so much and starting over?

Life is not a gift given to be taken so lightly...

Life is given to be lived...to cry, scream, laugh, love, lose, hurt, succeed, and fail...

The heart wants what it wants but that does not mean it will get what it wants....
sometimes you must give your heart what it needs...

Life is ultimately beautiful and wondrous...

The pain allows you to know you are living...
The love allows you to know what pure happiness feels like...

I will always and forever wear my heart on my sleeve...
I will always make sure to be honest about my feelings...
I will never regret falling in love...

What I do regret...is not realizing sooner that I deserve better

Eye Opening Week

2011-03-16T14:35:00.001-07:00

It's incredible how easily my life went from extreme happiness to extreme sadness...anger so deep it cuts into my very being. Why must people lie. Why must people forget that I was always there...
Is it so hard to just be honest?

Seems this big heart I was given will always get in my way...I don't know why or how I can possibly care this much but I do...

I wish I could learn to control my feelings...I've been hurt way too many times in my lifetime...I just can't take it anymore

I must learn to focus simply on my career and my son...nothing more nothing less...

Simple as that....

It's funny

2010-08-12T18:44:00.000-07:00

It all started innocently enough...fun...a past time...

It quickly unraveled into feelings, desires and an astonishing connection...

At least; that's what it was on my part...

It was never that on his part...

I tried controlling it but words spoken confused me...

Yet, when he was treated like he expected; he didn't like it and acted very weird...

Now I know my feelings are gone but I can't help but wonder what if...

The two words I hate the most when spoken together...What If...

So many questions and pain come from those words....

Yet it sucks that nothing will remedy this...

You just have to keep moving forward...

It's their loss if they don't see you for who you can be...

Their loss for being too afraid to admit their feelings...

You can not force someone to want you as you want them...

Things occur for a reason....

God will only give you what you can handle...

Allow it to drench you in every sort of experience possible...

Pain will not last forever...

Memories will last forever...

Regret will not last forever...

Love will last forever...

Only when it's pure...soul quenching...heart gripping love...

Even if you have this feeling alone; it doesn't make it any less real...

Peace comes in knowing you wore your heart on your sleeve...

Emotions didn't scare you...

Ready for the speed bumps that come with love...

May you find what you are looking for...

I want nothing but the best for you...

A moment of clarity...

2010-08-01T19:22:00.000-07:00

It's so amazing what a moment of clarity can lead to;

I've always thought myself to be a woman who knows what she wants. A woman who won't settle for less. A woman who deserves everything she wants and more.

Yet, I've noticed that I, like many others, make the same mistakes over and over again. Trying to hold on when I shouldn't. Hoping for Mr. Perfect and settling for Mr. Ehh. Thinking I have the one and little by little he breaks my heart and makes me feel that I am not good enough. Having men that ridicule my love for video games and rock and roll. My outlook on life being judged for not being like that of a "normal" girl and yet it's the "normal" girls that annoy them.

You see, we are all biologically wired to think these ways.

Women over think and over process things to the brink of insanity. We hear certain words and see ways that men react to us and start thinking that their feelings have changed. We think they're jealous, that they care and that we can allow ourselves to let them "in" to our hearts. If we are smart, we see it for what it is, cut our losses and learn. When we truly fall, it will take tears, pain and many moments of berating yourself to truly move on.

Men are simpler and just know what they like and try and try until they get it right. They cut their losses pretty easily for the most part. Yes men have their moment when a woman really gets under their skin but, mostly, they can just move on and hope the next one is theirs. See, men don't plan that every woman is the one, they just end up falling.

See, it doesn't matter how you meet someone or where you meet them, just that you don't continue your childish tantrums that cause you to being single. Wearing your heart on your sleeve doesn't make you stupid; it allows you to truly learn to love and lose. Every failed relationship or unrequited love simply teaches you what went wrong and how to make it work the next time. Have you ever stopped and truly asked yourself, 'what am I doing wrong?' Learn from your mistakes or you will be doomed to repeat them.

Many spend too much time looking for their list of "qualifications". Looks, job, car, every detail guided through a misconstrued list of what we "need". Never do we stop and realize if the person makes us feel special, if the person strives for greatness, and if this may be the true "love of our lives". You won't find the "one" by being choosy, you find them by giving someone a chance and allowing them to make mistakes to find their way to your heart. The person who may be "the one" could be the one you ignore because they lack some of your "qualifications". The person who may be the one could be the one you're ignoring for a very stupid reason.

It's also incredibly hard when you stop looking and find yourself face to face with the person you have always wanted. So many things in common, the conversation is just perfect, the time spent together is always amazing. Everything you have hoped for is all wrapped up into this one amazing human being. You realize you have fallen and let yourself tell them how you feel; only to realize; they don't like you the same way. You think they do because of misguided signals that were sent out, words spoken that should have never been spoken and moments that you never forget.

You hope that by showing your feelings they will realize you are such a great person for them, but sadly you simply get ignored. You're reminded that you are just a friend to them. Conversations just aren't the same anymore. You don't get happy anymore when they hit you up; every moment is a what if; what if he could see what he means to me, what if I had never told him anything...there we go again driving ourselves to the brink of insanity with questions.

At some point you realize that you have lost yet another battle...if someone wants you as much as you want them, trust that they will show you. If they don't, stop hoping and start moving on. It's very hard to let go of someone who fits you like a glove. Someone who makes your heart beat faster and slower with every touch. Every kiss makes your skin tingle. Every breath causes your senses to marvel at the glory that is this person.

Some things just aren't meant to be and it's okay. Life goes on and, in time, you will be okay. Look back on this moment, not with sadness, but knowing that it was a stepping stone towards finding that person that will "complete" you...

I may have lost this battle, but I will win this war...

RIP George Steinbrenner July 4th 1930 - July 13th 2010

2010-07-13T08:30:00.000-07:00

Today is an incredibly sad day in Baseball. George Steinbrenner; owner of the Yankees, has died after suffering a massive heart attack. A man who single handedly turned the Yankees into an empire that many can only dream about becoming.

The Yankees struggled under ownership by CBS, in 1973 Steinbrenner led a group of investors to purchase the New York Yankees for $8.8 million dollars. Steinbrenner claimed he would not be so into the business of baseball, but quickly he took the reigns and began to build his empire. With his first pennant win in 1976 courtesy of Chris Chambliss; Steinbrenner began to see his dream realized. Unfortunately then began the Era of the "Bronx Zoo" a time in which fights and outbursts reigned...a time where Manager Billy Martin was hired and fired 5 times. A time where Reggie Jackson was known for his "superstar antics." A time where it seemed Steinbrenner lost control of the team.

Steinbrenner had many controversial moments, his illegal donations to the campaign of Nixon, statements that led Ken Griffey Jr to list the Yankees as a team he would never play for, being banned for life from baseball in 1990 for paying $40,000 to a small time gambler for "dirt" on Dave Winfield...moments that won't be forgotten but only show his passion towards situations. Steinbrenner was never one to stay quiet and he made sure that if you wanted to be a Yankee, you had to perform almost immediately. Money was no object when it came to building his empire. Steinbrenner could afford to bring in the big players and keep those who were amazing through our farm system.

Steinbrenner became a quiet force, after being banned from the game. His patience was soon rewarded when our Empire came into the light after winning the World Series in '96, '98, '99 and 2000. After 9/11...we made it yet again into the World Series but failed to win against the Arizona Diamondbacks. Watching our Arch Nemesis, The Boston Red Sox, win the World Series in both 2004 and 2007 led to Steinbrenner fading from the public light. He gave in and allowed his sons to take over ownership and regained glory in 2009 when the Yankees won the World Series at home!

He was plagued by his health in the last few years and fixed many broken relationships which led to Yogi Berra coming back into the stadium after the brutal relationship they had. Dave Winfield, Darryl Strawberry and many others fixed their situations and just enjoyed his time. Steinbrenner was a very giving man and helped many go to school, helped many get jobs and always did anything he had to, to make things happen.

On this sad day let us not forget this; George Steinbrenner; you gave us Yankees Fans the dream that all others try to grasp. You gave us everything we need to be the team whose name echoes among the world as Baseball Royalty. You were magnanimous among owners and no one will ever compare. Thank you for every memory you ever gave! Your passion and determination will never be compared. Lets Go Yankees! #28 is for you Boss!

Opened Eyes...

2010-05-31T14:56:00.000-07:00

I have finally opened my eyes...

No more time for games...

No more waiting for some idiot to realize who I am...

I just can't anymore...

My happiness comes first and I understand that now...

Come correct or don't come at all!

I Just Don't Get It...

2010-05-26T21:13:00.000-07:00

Women are almost always called clingy, crazy, suckers for love and other things of the same nature by Men. What I don't get is why we are labelled that way when I've noticed that it's due to men and their lies to get us.

Case in point; he opens with a great line and gets your information...you connect rather instantly and have a few amazing moments together. Conversations are incredible. So many things in common. He begins to spew out all these lines and comments that would make any woman fall.

Things seem to be going rather well, then it all begins...too busy, too tired, doesn't communicate as much. As an adult, you maintain faith and realize that sometimes people really are just that busy. Knowing all that's on his plate and how he tells you certain things to keep you interested, you wait and have faith.

Finally, after some unwarranted waiting, he tells you he will finally have time to see you and how he's so excited to see you. He spends days telling you how crazy you make him and how bad he wants you. You make plans and are left waiting...not even a word to let you know he won't be coming.

Do you get mad? Do you get worried? Do you attempt to contact him?

It isn't the first time you're left waiting and, most likely, won't be the last. Do you forget him and move on? Do you give that last chance because you see his worth? One thing is certain; you spend a lot of time asking yourself why. Why does he say these things if he doesn't mean them? Why doesn't he just tell you he isn't interested? Why does he show so much interest only to leave you waiting?

At this point it is rather clear that the final conversation must occur. When a man wants you and is truly interested, he will move heaven and earth to be around you. To show you he cares he will do it all with no objection. If you see that the focus isn't there and nothing has changed, then you stop caring.

A woman can only do so much. At a certain point you must value your self worth and realize that he just isn't good enough or just doesn't see your worth like you see his.

I, myself will always wear my heart on my sleeve. I don't live afraid of love and take the chance to be happy when I feel it has come around. I may look like a fool most of the time, but I won't live in a world where I'm afraid to love because of another man who didn't see my worth.

Love will come back into my life when it's truly time...It's that simple...

Thoughts of a mind tormented...

2010-05-21T21:53:00.001-07:00

Tormented by thoughts of what could have been...

Thoughts that harbor anger and disdain towards he who hurt me so...

Yet again I find myself at a crossroads; not sure which direction to take...

Do I start fresh and allow new emotions in...

Do I go backwards and allow old wounds to resurface...

So hard to forget...

So hard to forgive...

What does one do when they had everything they thought they wanted and see it ripped away...

Do you hold steadfast and hope for a long awaited change...

What does one do when there is no amount of faith left...

God only gives you what he knows you can handle; I just wish he didn't trust me so much...

So I have noticed...

2010-05-18T10:27:00.001-07:00

Men are always very quick to claim how bad us women are. Always claim that we are to hard to understand. Let me make it a little easier...

Women really just want to be aware that you care. That you think of us during your busy day. See, it's very easy for men to say that we suffocate them or show too much interest, but let's cover some facts...

1. When a man first meets a woman they're interested in, they want to talk to them all day

2. They show all sorts of interest so that she wants to do as they please

3. They get what they want and still like you, but don't contact you as often anymore

4. Claim to be busy or that life is too hectic

5. Just about stop talking to you unless you hit them up, yet when you stop contacting them then they wonder why...

So herein lies the problem; Men never know how to follow through...they start off well but never seem to be able to finish what they start properly...

See a man will get you used to one treatment; reel you in and make you fall; then separate himself when he feels that you've become his. What they fail to realize is that, at that moment is when we start to look clingy and/or insecure. See, we are still hitting them up like we used to, but since they are "busy" it looks like we are doing too much.

Now let me summarize this by simply stating; don't get a woman used to a certain treatment, take it away and then act as though we can't get mad or wonder why...

Now on to the next subject...

As an avid twitter user; I have noticed how easy it is for a man to look very bad. It's bad enough so many women claim to be models now and so many insecure girls post naked pics to get attention...but now men are just thirst buckets...

Honestly; tweeting to every pretty girl that posts a picture in hopes of getting her. Telling one girl you like her and two seconds later telling another. Since when did it become okay for men to seem like desperate teenage girls?

I've met so many guys recently who I thought were just cool guys who wanted awesome sexual lives; instead they are all trying to wife everything that comes near them...I don't get it. One moment they are saying they like someone, then they are heartbroken, then they like someone else....please just stop! Its unhealthy and utterly sad. Such a turn off to see a guy you thought was cool, act like he's desperate for pussy. It's really not that serious.

Don't get me started on women who turn everything into a drama filled tirade...One day they are filling their own heads up with ego boosters and one bump in the road and their lives are over. Please, we are not teenagers; bad things happen but it's how u react during our dark moments that will show what we are made of!

This blog isn't intended to offend anyone but if you do end up having a negative feeling towards anything I have stated;

It just means what I have written is true and you should reevaluate what you do with yourself.

Toodles;

AirKarina*

My thoughts wander...

2010-05-16T19:51:00.000-07:00

Today was a testing day...

I got a text from a guy I might have been interested in another time; making accusations that weren't warranted and had him playing this victim role which was so ugly. I quickly ended that convo by simply stating that he obviously wants nothing to do with a woman like me and he should just keep himself going in the direction he pleases. He is a manipulative little man and I won't stand for him, or any man, coming out of the woodworks as though I'm supposed to fall to my knees and obey.

Later, while waiting for Achilles to come home from a weekend with his dad, I get some guy I got rid of for acting like a stalker texting me trying to force me to come downstairs. I laughed so hard at him. Who does he think he is coming at me like that? I hate when I let a man know how I am and he accepts it then tries to change me...smh

I am who I am and will always be the same...I expect to be spoiled and will not tolerate anything else. Get with it or go the FUCK away! Simple as that!

I maintain myself to be the same person at all times and whoever doesn't like it, does not have to be a part of my life! Simple as that!

Toodles;

AirKarina

Pure Happiness!

2010-05-06T10:27:00.000-07:00

It's simply amazing that my life has had this super wonderful turn of events.

I may change jobs, my son is doing so well and its soon going to be time for him to start school! I have finally removed myself from a lot of things that were not beneficial to me. You view your life in an entirely different manner when people attack you for no reason.

Things are changing for me! I've planned yet another trip to Las Vegas, planning a European vacation for my birthday next year! Life is just simply amazing! I couldn't be happier with how things are going!

At your darkest moment, God will always shine down on you with exactly what you need to pull through all the garbage and come out a better person!

Signing off for now my loves!

Karina xoxo

Hell NO!

2010-04-12T09:23:00.000-07:00

As you all know, my time on GS Radio was done...people have hit me up saying I was done wrong and all I've said back is that I wasn't. That his vision for his show just didn't include me anymore. I stated that he and his new co host would be amazing together and I was sure they'd be great.

Well it came to my attention that negative things were being said about me and I didn't like it, but I said nothing. An artist that I know tweeted that many people think he's too cocky; I re tweeted it and said oh well! Simply because I've been told I'm too cocky my whole life and who cares. See me as you want; when a person knows me they know I'm a loyal and great person.

Well my ex co host (we won't mention his name because, apparently, I'm only using it so I can be famous, LMFAO) hits me up and asks if that artist has something to say to him; I said no because he didn't. I said I re tweeted because I agreed and felt the same about his tweet. He starts rambling on and cursing at me; saying how he knows I told him that he doesn't think he's hot.

Oh well, he goes on to say that I'm going to get the artist fucked up and that he also has "bitches on deck" sorry for the improper english; I must speak as he does... So I see that he threatened me and I posted it on twitter; guess what happens next? He hits me up again asking why I would post that on twitter; I simply replied because I can. There is no way in hell that anyone is going to threaten me and I'm just going to stay shut.

So while working yesterday, I called my lawyer, called the precinct where he lives and my precinct. I gave them all the info and emails they need to prosecute if something should happen to me. There is no way I was just going to slink away and let him get away with this. He honestly believes he runs the music game when no one knows him. He thinks we all want to be like him. That his movement is the only feasible one out right now.

Today he hits me up because he was told I blogged about him. He, of course, attacks me. Not realizing that my original blog was a nice one where I wished him well with everything. A blog that was about my end on the show. Well he continues attacking me and saying how I wanna be famous by using his name and his brand...lmao

What I don't get is that if he's always told me that things aren't so serious, why does he take twitter so seriously? If he is so super amazing, then why do my words affect him at all? When he has called me every name in the book to other people, I said nothing. I didn't hit him up and ask why he's saying anything. I'm not worried about what people think about me, I know who I am.

I work very hard for my son and myself, I neglected him at times to be on the phone with people for this show, I spent a lot of time emailing and texting to get a buzz. All I ever heard was that this man was corny and why would I want to work with him; I spent time standing up for him and his "vision" only to have him turn against me. What's worse is that he'll never see the error of his ways because he has a street mentality. It's all about who does him wrong and not who he does wrong.

This blog was written, not because I need fame, but because the world needs to know that this man has a very ugly personality. When you think you work WITH him, you actually work FOR him. Your opinions don't matter unless he likes them. There is no faith in your work. No faith in what vision you have. I will not allow anyone to act as though they are better than me. I know what it takes to make things better. Expanding the fan base and allowing artists the chance to be featured for FREE. It's not only about the people you like and only allowing unknowns to come if they pay to be featured.

Screenshots of one of the threats;

Here is the Convo from today;

VaGuE: I told u bout that twitter shit an u violated now...crossed the line
VaGuE: We will bump into eachother
VaGuE: Good luck wit everything
VaGuE: So now yo tryna disrespect me on your blogs? You really crossing the line now.
AirKarinaBx23 *PR* *US* : Read the blog I haven't said anything wrong about you
AirKarinaBx23 *PR* *US* : That blog was written days ago
VaGuE: Stop puttin my business on your public. Stop mentioning me an my brand period.
VaGuE: I don't care when it was written.
VaGuE: Let it go already!
VaGuE: Move on to your sneaker business
AirKarinaBx23 *PR* *US* : Ur business? I'm sorry but I wrote it when I left because I could; I was a part of it until then and it was part of my life
AirKarinaBx23 *PR* *US* : I'm not letting anything go; u threatened me over nothing
VaGuE: No one threatened you. You buggin
AirKarinaBx23 *PR* *US* : I have proof that u did
VaGuE: You not that serious
VaGuE: Ok whatever
VaGuE: Just let my brand go an live your life
VaGuE: Do you
AirKarinaBx23 *PR* *US* : I will continue to do as I please with MY life
VaGuE: Stop mentioning gs radio period!
VaGuE: An gs is not in your life
VaGuE: Good luck
AirKarinaBx23 *PR* *US* : Why? Apparently I'm trying to make a name for myself
VaGuE: Ok then do what you have to
AirKarinaBx23 *PR* *US* : Ur so famous I need u to make myself relevant; so let it be
VaGuE: Ok
VaGuE: I'll make you famous so don't you worry
VaGuE: I'll help u

Now it's all out! Let me know if I should reveal all the other things you've said. When you're ready to apologize; I'll accept it. I have forgiven you for what you've done because you just don't know any better.

The End...

2010-04-08T14:51:00.000-07:00

My time on Grind Season Radio is done;

Unfortunately I was gotten rid of because my ideas were not good enough. It was his way or the highway. *shrugs*

I hold no bad blood towards him although I'm sure many bad things were said about me.

I had a vision where people could come on and get some exposure; his vision had them paying for that exposure...

I knew for a while that he didn't want to work with me anymore but he never could tell me

So recently he decided to end the show and told me it wouldn't be back for a long time. Funny that now its starting up again next week...

That I should maintain my relevance by being a part of "lip gloss radio"...mind you it was an all female show and I found out today it was supposed to be about gossip and being girly...

0_o The fuck I look like? I'm not fucking girly nor do I care to gossip for an entire show.

I wanted to bring up some guests that I know and let them get exposure but they weren't good enough for my ex co host now producer

Everything was supposed to be what he thinks is poppin and fck what the rest of us think...

I even made some moves to have some huge names up there and now I had to cancel on them

I had to retract sponsorship applications and I'm pretty sure now my ex co host is going to act like I was never nice and he'll act as though I no longer exist; so much for all the bs of him saying we family...

Im hurt that the show is over but it calms me now because it was all about him and no one elses ideas were even taken into consideration...

I now have the opportunity to host my own show with my own ideas; to give someone the chance to be heard

My time on Grind Season Radio was fun, I met amazing people and made lasting friendships. I will always support the Grind Season Family and I hope my ex co host gets everything he wants and deserves out of his endeavors...

Signing off now;

AirKarina

A Relaxing Sunday!!!

2010-03-28T10:35:00.002-07:00

I am just going to spend the day with my son and enjoying his company! Playing some video games, giving him his daily lessons in reading and writing and then enjoy dinner!

My birthday is on April 1st and I simply can't wait!

My Radio Show will be a show dedicated to me and my day!! Loaded with the artists I prefer!

Tune in on www.DaMatrixStudios.com on Thursday from 6pm to 8pm!!!

Sicky Sunday

2010-03-21T16:35:00.000-07:00

So Im stuck home on a beautiful sunday in New York City...Unfortunately Achilles got me sick and now Im just here in pain and full of sneezes...lol

Spent my day playing video games, reading and now cooking...so I'm hoping I feel better tomorrow so I can enjoy my day off with my son...

I must update this daily so I can really let ya know what I've been feeling...lol

Be back later; xoxoxo

(:

2010-03-19T22:39:00.001-07:00

Tried something new with my blog...

I think it looks pretty awesome! lol

This is temporary while I design my ultimate template...(:

Lemme know if u like it!

Well

2010-03-19T21:46:00.000-07:00

Another night...

Achilles is sick and having the worst time trying to sleep...

Every cough stirs him from his slumber; brings the saddest look to his face...its incredibly painful

I must go to sleep soon; I work later this afternoon and I close...

I hope the store has a good night

Can't wait to wake up early and pick up New Moon at Best Buy! Im super excited!!!!!

Goodnight my loves!

xoxo

Its now March 19th...

2010-03-18T21:18:00.000-07:00

I seem to always forget to come on and post a lot more...

Life has been pretty hectic; many hours at work; people trying to stop my forward movement at my job...

Im not sure why I always get hit with the negative side of things; at this point Im not sure how much Im supposed to be able to take...

I get that God only gives you what you can handle, but even I need a moment...

Things at home are getting so much better, Achilles recently turned 4; my Birthday is coming up on April 1st; I will be 28!

Im hoping I can update a bit tomorrow with some pics of recent activities and such!

Love you guys! Thanks for stopping in!

?..?..?

2010-02-22T20:40:00.001-08:00

I seem to have lost my way in this world...

Many things have occurred that I just don't comprehend. I try and try to be a good person, a loyal friend, a loving human being; yet never get the treatment I truly deserve.

Im not sure why I can't stop being "nice"...I'm not entirely sure I should stop being nice...

I need to re focus and fix all that's wrong in my "world"

I hope I can eventually...I can't take the all the people who blame me for their lack of judgement and their slip ups....

Soooo Im Sick

2010-02-16T11:13:00.000-08:00

Fuuuuck I feel so sick right now....

Yet here I am, about to still get ready and go to work...

I love that its snowing but I know its going to get me sicker....lol...

well I'll be back later to make some more posts...

xoxoxoxo my loves